Dating Defined

Before the “love month” ends, I thought I might post something related to matters of the heart which I normally don’t do. Thus, this article. 🙂

If you are to ask me about my thoughts on dating, I believe I have quite a set of ideas that are mostly not in tune with everyone’s ideas on dating. First, let’s define “dating.” The notion of dating is relative. Some of us view it as 2 persons going out together either to watch a movie, have dinner, etc., all leaning towards a romantic inclination – a relationship. Others simply define it as a casual hanging out similar to how they hang out with their friends.

I don’t believe in friendly dates like between a girl and a boy who do not know each other completely because yes, it may not be explicitly implied but the attraction is there since they both agreed to go out together for starters and yes, they are open to the notion that they would end up as a couple after some time. Again, because the attraction is there. You would not go out with someone you are not attracted to, would you?  😀 It is impossible to say let’s go out, let’s just have fun, just enjoy the time being together, etc. and only that.

There will be expectations. That’s a given. Expectations not regarding the person per se but more on how the date would end up. Like would you still go out with that person? Do you enjoy hanging out with that person? So friendly dates, for me, are a no-no, romantic dates would be better after you have been friends for a long time and have spent time together along with a group of friends. Intentions in romantic dates are laid out clear in the open, no room for wrong assumptions either on both parties.

This is another reason why I simply don’t go about dating any guy I like on friendly dates. Why? Because they are all automatically commoditized when you date one from the other thinking that because it did not work out with this one, I’ll just move on to the next.  Exactly the same as buying something from the market. It is definitely not a good way to start a relationship. Now, you most probably would wonder how, then, will I find out who is the right guy for me. Well, I may partly be a cynic at some point but I still believe in fate and faith (God’s plans), patience and waiting (God’s time). Who knows, I might find him while I am dating with my friends and within my circle of friends. 😀

How about the notion of love at first sight, then? Like I have never seen the guy before, never been friends with him and yet I fell in love with him at first sight? Tough question. Which would lead to another tough discussion I opt to stay away from – the definition of love. 😀

Nah, let’s just leave it all to the element of surprise. God’s wonders work in amazing ways, anyway. 🙂


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