You Just Have To Learn How To Say “NO”

Red, Hot Chili

Red, Hot Chili

This red, hot chili reminded me of this word – NO. Some people like it, some don’t. And for most people whom I have offered this to who really, really hate chili, they just stood their ground and firmly said “NO” no matter how many times I have asked them to try it. (Well, I can really be VERY persuasive sometimes.) 😉

[You just have to learn how to say “NO.”]

My eldest sister used to tell me this way, way back when I was younger – my teenage years. Now, I found myself saying this to myself again and again.

Say “NO” to a job that does not make you any better anymore – forced to work beyond what you can handle, compassion is absent, profit is the main target and offering minimum wages.

Know when your rights are violated. We tend to reason and equate this to how Christ has suffered for us – that we, too, should suffer the same.  Yes and no. Yes, we should be brave enough to withstand any challenge.  But no, learn to know when it is not healthy for you anymore. You have to think more of yourself at this point and look after your own welfare. Not because you are selfish but because you cannot give your best if you are not at your best. Quality versus quantity. How can you help others when you are struggling to even help yourself?

Say “NO” to a relationship wherein the other half requires you to meet his/her demands that are not supposed to be given at the point of your relationship (not yet married).

When a relationship brings you nothing but heartache, tears, doubts, lies, rage, contempt and more sins, it is time to let go. Mishaps in relationships are a given. Pain in love is inevitable. Yet with all things, they should always be in a state of balance. Never is there a thing such as pure and absolute happiness and just that. Neither should there be anything such as pain and sadness all the time.

Say “NO” to an addiction/craving that brings you nothing but wasted money, effort, time and a cursing heart.

It is time to give it up if it makes you feel bad as a person, if it makes you feel less of a person, if it makes you pose more questions of self-doubt than self-fulfilment and satisfaction.  Idolatry is one of the worst sins ever committed. You are not aware you are doing more harm than good to yourself with your decision to stick through it, making excuses for it.

Easy for me to say, that is what you are going to say. 🙂

I do get you.

We value our jobs because we need money to survive. But here is what I have to say too. There are a lot of better opportunities out there. You have better chances of letting God make you to who He wants you to be out there than where you are now. Who am I to say this? Let’s say I just learned it from experience and from the habit that I will let go rather than complain how I hate my job, how it is making me unhappy, unfulfilled, and let the world know about it. If you don’t want to let it go, learn to love it and be professional.

It’s hard to let go of someone you have learned to love and shared so many memories with, sad and happy. It is hard to let go of a companion whom you were used to spending most of your time with. It is hard to move on. Yes, maybe that is the reason why you don’t want to let go. It is the fear of facing the pain, the loss and the burden of carrying bittersweet memories. I know because I went through the same. But you were crying everyday, you are always in a state of doubt, in a state of unsettling situations, complicated compromises – if you still insist on keeping the relationship, ask yourself these questions:

1. How secure is my future with my significant other going to be like?

2. What future will my children and grandchildren have if I opted to stay?

3. How long until I reach my breaking point? And when that happens, is it already too late to change my mind?

4. What consequences do I have to go through and bear?

Addiction is a bad habit magnified to a thousand. When it strikes, it kills, it destructs. It developed because it nurtures the gratification it gives us – a sense of temporary high. But the question is, in every addiction, what else did it give you aside from that temporary high? None. Because again, as I have said earlier, when it strikes, it kills, it destructs until you are left sapped out. Empty – inside and out.

I am leaving you with not so many choices, am I not? Yes, because that is my intent in writing this piece – you just have to say “NO” to anything and everything that takes the GOOD out of you.

I am not a preacher, I hate public speaking nor am I good at it. I am no counselor – I am just a concerned individual. I am not perfect – I have made more mistakes and sins in my past than most of you ever did. And lastly, I am no God – I do not know everything.

I just intend to share. Because I have learned to say “NO.” You still have a choice. You still have your free will.

Which should go second or be in accordance to God’s will. Seek Him first and obey. He knows better than any of us, anyway. In fact, He knows what is best for us. Pray earnestly, pray hardest. Then, you’ll have the courage to say “NO” when the right time comes for you to say it. 🙂

7 thoughts on “You Just Have To Learn How To Say “NO”

  1. I’ve learned that we also need to say “no” to the good things – the good opportunities – the many (too many) opportunities we are given to be of service, and that those “no’s” are the most difficult to both discern and to say. 😉


    • Thank you Sister Pat for sharing your insight and for mentioning this one important word that I forgot to include in this article – discernment. 🙂

      Indeed, it would be best to seek God’s counsel and His wisdom at all times, He will guide us in saying the right “no” at the right time. 🙂


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