“What is in a goodbye?”
It is to depart, to move away, to leave. But what does this word really hold?
Goodbye is having enough from the constant lies after lies casually said.
Goodbye is hopelessly groping for an answer to the retort “Why listen to the Pastor, is he the one you are going to marry?”.
Goodbye is being fed up in the temptations being entertained.
Goodbye is spending more time in another kingdom making memories with them instead of making your own together.
Goodbye is a battered ego because of persecution and name-calling during heavy fights.
Goodbye is a deep pondering what will happen to your family if too much time is spent playing online games.
Goodbye is too much of something wrong that you thought at first was worth sacrificing and enduring but later realize it has to come to an end.
Sometimes the only option is to surrender it all so God can completely take over and take control.
Being at peace – God instructed us this.
It was a week of being disconnected from one another as a couple. Until now I still am not ready to go back to how we were.
But on his end, nothing has changed. The “I love you so much” and the “I miss you” were there every single day. Apologies were said but I was pushing him away and yet he chose to stay.
Which made me question my actions. Am I acting out of pride because my ego was hurt? Am I being selfish? Am I retaliating? Am I punishing him? How long am I going to be like this to him? Am I really doing what the bible says about forgiveness?
I got the chance to share our status with my fellowship group and sisters in Christ, mostly single. They were astonished that even engaged couples still break up. And I told them that yes, couples break up and get together a thousand times in the entire duration of their relationship. Even more so when your relationship is gearing towards marriage – the more that the enemy will try to break apart that beautiful promise of God for both of you.
And their answer was something I wasn’t prepared to hear – a note of gratitude because they, too, are learning from me and my relationship. I wanted to cry for they didn’t know that they are one of the reasons who give me strength and my motivation to uphold to God’s promises and hold on to the commitment.
I was made being overly empathetic and my heart pours out to each one of my sisters in Christ. I love them and my constant prayer is that God will lead their hearts and give them the same strength and boldness in spirit to never fall away from their faith no matter what happens in their relationships.
And when I woke up this morning, I do not know the reason why my pile of clothes went tumbling down as I opened my closet and some clothes still continue to fall down after I piled them up – yes, frustrating. And yet God made me realize at that moment what faith is all about – make your foundations strong, otherwise, you will crumble when shaken.
While stacking my pile of clothes for the last time patiently making sure the bottom parts are well-stacked up, this verse came into my mind:
1 Corinthians 1:8 NLT
“He will also keep you firm to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ.”
God did not ask me to leave everything behind and start anew but to have peace in the midst of turmoil. For God works more powerful in times of trouble and despair than in happiness and contentment. And I believe that is what He wanted me to learn. For that is what He has already said and it was pre-written:
John 16:33 NLT
“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”
Just like this new and modern chandelier. It will stay hanging in the ceiling for as long as the structure of the building is there. Time will pass it by, it will look old, tattered and worn out but its foundation will still remain. 🙂