A Silent Salutation To My Moms

A silent salutation.

Because I know that the endless “Thank yous” and “I love yous”  won’t be enough to completely express how much my appreciation goes for such an amazing job they did on motherhood.

I will become a mother someday. But if it isn’t God’s will, I’d still be grateful I was blessed with the opportunity to marry and be with the man God has appointed me to be with. But for now, it is such a great opportunity that God has given me my birth mother and my mother-in-law – two completely opposite and flawed individuals yet amazing in their own ways. Oftentimes I find myself thinking how far will my faith be tested. That is, being a woman of God. My Mom and my mother-in-law are women tested through time becoming who they are now.

They say elders are to be examples to the younger generations. For they were made wiser by time and experiences – something that the youth do not possess yet. It is by wisdom that men grow as an individual as far as individuality is concerned. And yet the irony is that not all elders possess the right kind of wisdom – Godly knowledge. Through which I found myself praying for utmost discernment. For how can someone younger correct someone older out of the youth’s reverence to the elderly?

It was written in the bible:

“Remind them to be subject to rulers, to authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good deed,..” – Titus 3:1

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud but gives grace to the humble.” – 1 Peter 5:5

“Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” – Colossians 3:20

It takes such great effort to summon the Spirit for leading when it comes to what matters most – obedience to the one who holds the authority even if it means the outcome will be a wrong decision because it wasn’t God-centered or doing the right thing, that which is pleasing to God and yet disobeying the elders.

My adoration for my mothers did not come as instant as they can be. I disliked a couple of things about my Mom and the same goes for my mother-in-law. I do not agree in some of what they do and say and yet I found myself looking past their weaknesses and appreciating the good in each of them. Appreciation is never that easy, for accepting one person for who he/she is means accepting even the worst in him/her.

My relationship with my Mom is never the warm, friendly type. She is a Mom and I am her daughter and nothing should cross that boundary. She brought us up in a very independent manner, allowing us to make our own decisions, letting us fall if we made the wrong decisions, letting us look for solutions to our problems and yet she never fails to be there at the moment when you needed her the most. Communication does not happen everyday for us even when I was in college. I admire the way she disciplines us, the values most especially. For it is in those values that I have learned about how to deal with the circumstances and people around me the right way – that which is acceptable not just to society but to God most especially.

My mother-in-law is the opposite. She likes to foster warm and affectionate mother-daughter/mother-son relationships. She likes it that she is updated with what is happening in our daily lives. Oftentimes she makes most of the decisions and provides solutions to problems right away. She provides everything that is needed, making way for everything to be smooth sailing. She is very lenient with a lot of things and you truly will feel her care and concern. Although some of these complicate some things too.

Both my mothers are so different in upbringing, values system they uphold to, life experiences and lifestyle. Yet they have one thing in common – they are both mothers, one which greatly symbolizes womanhood. A responsibility that is never easy to handle as everyone knows. Being married gave me the opportunity to know them really well when circumstances and conflicts posit I seek for their counsel and when the Spirit urges me as well to do so.

It was only in this season of my marriage that I got to talk to my Mom regarding relational issues as freely as I can be. We never talked about it in a casual manner even in my previous relationships but now I am amazed by all the wisdom she has to offer when it comes to being a woman, a wife and a mother.

As for my mother-in-law, I have to be grateful for her generosity although we always assure her we can completely handle things on our own. I used to view both my moms with contempt and hesitation and yet amazing it is that God has indeed proven He is greater than any barrier known – that of changing hearts and minds, one of the most difficult to do among men.

I cannot say if it was my heart and mindset that have been changed, my Mom’s or that of my mother-in-law’s but I can’t help but be extremely grateful and blessed for these two important women that God has appointed in my life. I believe most of us just make this one common mistake, one way or the other, of asking this question:

“Why do I have to have him/her in my life?”

For it was never a question of “why”  but a question of “what” – that of knowing in God’s perfect time what are the good purposes and roles that God has for placing them in our lives.

Some say it is the hypothalamus that is responsible in allowing us to feel love. Although common to all is that it is the heart that makes us love and feel loved. I say though, it is neither the heart nor the hypothalamus that is capable of eliciting love but none other than the author of love Himself, God.

For when a change of hearts and a change of mindsets happen, we know that God has already begun His work in you, in us – as evidenced by the love you give and the love you receive. And what better way to start reciprocating love than to people who matter to you most. 🙂

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